And The Winner Is...

In the Grand Cookie Giveaway- I couldn't just draw one name, so I drew three. The winners are:

Sue S.
Michelle DeP.
Rita B.

I'll be getting those cookies out ASAP! And Rita, I need your snail address.

I want to thank all the people who were kind enough to write in and say such nice things! If I survive this cookie give-away there will be more!

It has been a zoo here. You know me- Short Attention Span Theater. I couldn't just do the last minute baking. Not me. I had last minute shopping to do as well and I haven't wrapped a damned thing...other than what I paid the fundraisers at Borders who wrapped a few gifts for a donation.

Then I got sidetracked by a new dance- tap and clogging- website I found. In particular, this guy caught my attention. So I'm in the kitchen trying to learn the step he's showing online, baking cookies, pound cake and cheese straws and playing Taboo and Pinochle with the Unnamed Ones.

It is just total bedlam.

And in the midst of things, I thought the front yard needed a Burning Bush. So I streaked outside to wrap the tiny Dogwood tree in what I thought were purple, red and pink lights...but alas, they were all pink!

The Unnamed Ones arrived home to tell me they thought the lights made the Burning Bush look like Maggie the Crazed Schnauzer. The Eldest even took a picture with my new cell phone to show me and I had to agree- my salute to the Old Testament looks rather like a pink neon dog. If I knew how to send the picture to the 'puter, I'd show you. The Eldest is working on it as we speak.

I can't believe tomorrow's Christmas Eve. It seems surreal. The weather is too warm. I don't know what's not right about it but I don't "feel" Christmassy.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I found myself thinking about Cookie in the nursing home...so I did what I do almost every day- I checked the obituaries. She wasn't there. Instead of breathing a sigh of relief, I for some reason at 3 a.m, checked my voicemail.

One of my friends at Cookie's nursing home had called. "Just wondered where you were. I didn't see you this week. Maybe we can have lunch. Oh, and on a down note, Cookie had a stroke. They sent her out yesterday. I don't know anything else."

Sent her out means she went to the hospital. I won't be able to find out much from the weekend staff at the nursing home and the hospitals won't even admit she's a patient because as much as I love Cookie, I'm not family.

But on Wednesday when I stopped by to drop off presents from the cloggers to the residents, Cookie took my hand, smiled at me and said, "You know..." There was a long pause as she tried for the words and couldn't find them. Then, "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

I held onto her. "I love you too, Cookie. I'll be back."

I figure she had her stroke later that afternoon or the next day. I play her words over and over in my head wondering if I'll ever see her again, wondering if she really knows I love her.

I should've gone to all the hospitals looking. I should've gone to the nursing home and asked questions but I didn't. I know they wouldn't know the answers...unless Cookie was dead. I think this is why I don't go. I don't want to lose one other person I love. Not now. Not today.

Stupid, huh?

1 comment:

Teena said...

Happy holidays, Nancy!