Stop It Before It Breeds Again!!!

This winter, while I was busy writing two novels, working three jobs and raising two boys, my basement had sex. That is the only explanation for the population explosion below the decks of my 1750 sq. foot ranch house.

I came up for air around March 15th and ventured downstairs to clear a path through the laundry room. This led to a trip to my office...you know, that room where we're supposed to keep files, important papers, all the receipts needed to do the taxes! I couldn't get through the door! All winter long, whenever bills, papers, books arrived, I shoved them into the room...Okay, and if I must be completely honest...I flat threw the things in there, along with extra clothes, junk from my other office move, boxes of candles and junk Martha needed to clear out of her house before she put it on the market and stuff I bought at Goodwill that I just knew would sell like hotcakes on eBay. Of course, I'd have to take the pictures and write the descriptions before I posted the listings and with 2 books on the way, who could find the time to write a paragraph about a stupid pair of Lucky jeans?!

I am an optimist. I bought the myth of my generation...If you work hard, miracles can happen. Oh so NOT! I labored for days downstairs and guess what? It's actually much worse!!!

My friends have offered to help, but if I take them up on their kind offers they'll find out what a horrible person I really am! I mean, the health department might condemn my basement! My Ex might sue for custody. I might find a dead body and that would necessitate writing yet another book!

I was so sure that finishing this last book would return my life to "normal" but instead the little wheel inside my cage just keeps spinning faster and faster and the basement just keeps right on having sex!

The good news is...I cleaned out my bedroom closet and managed after 2 weeks to fill my car with Goodwill donations.

The bad news?

I threw everything that I couldn't quite throw out down the laundry chute and the hungry basement gobbled it up!

HELP!!!!