This summer my sister Darlene aka Sister Flea asked if I was coming to her son's wedding in Tallahassee. "I need to know you've got my back," she said. "It's going to be intense. You know, the step mom issue...She thinks he's her kid. I'll get swamped by her relatives."
The idea of another woman stealing my sister's boy was enough to get me to guarantee I'd be there and have her back. "They'll know you've got family," I said, picking up the gauntlet. But I was thinking "Hell, I haven't shown my ass in a long, long time. I believe I'm due."
Then I found out the rehearsal dinner given the night before the wedding was going to be a costume affair as it is also Halloween. Is this not awesome?
My sister is worried the stepmom's family will be drinking too much, along with her ex and that this will offend the bride's family because of their raunchy, redneck trailer trash air of cheap liquor and cheaper women.
He-he-he...
I only have one fear...That I won't be able to handle both the camera and my beer bottle weapon of choice at the same time.
There is no way something with this much possibility could go undocumented. I need material like this. But I also have the family honor to defend...or ruin.
The real crisis is...my costume. Who shall I be? It has to be something I can cram into a backpack, along with a dress to wear to the conservative, formal wedding.
My creativity has run dry...Who or what can I be that I can carry on board an airplane and zip into quickly?
Come on, you guys are creative....HELP!!!
1 comment:
Too many things all too fast. First pack a witch costume as it is mostly a large robe and collapsable hat, don't forget the wart infected rubber face. Second, nevermind the bottle, it is no sword, and the camera is the new pen. Most of all though, watch out for the TSA, they are paid hourly and have a 'I am better than you complex'.
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