Observations from the Poop Deck

Okay, re-entry...

I have returned home after four months of almost never being here and I have observed the following:

Even though I clipped Bailey within an inch of his life, he has shed long hairs all over the house. They look like tumbleweeds rolling through Tombstone...(Jeeze, there's that death metaphor again!)

No one dusted the entire time I was gone. They deny this, but the truth is the truth and the dust is a good 1/4 inch thick.

The two little boxes of pictures and tokens I brought back from Dad somehow morphed into a living room full of miscellaneous crap: a green recliner, afghans, pillows, crockpot, books, papers, caps, old sweatshirts we brought back because they smelled like him...

Perhaps worst of all is the discovery I made sitting here on the couch...While I was away, sitting for 12-14 hours a day...I grew. I do not recall recreational eating, but the evidence is there in the form of a dunlap. My formerly flat, taut belly done lapped over my waistband and I am now in possession of a jelly roll, spare tire.

This pisses me off...but not enough to actually go walking with Martha when she asked. I told her I had to help Adam fill out his college application and, in case this wasn't enough, find "papers" that had to do with the house AND make dinner.

Tomorrow I will pray for rain.

The little voice in my head says, "How could you do this to yourself?" but the other, louder voice says, "Hey, you're back in Greensboro! They have hot right now Krispy Kream donuts!"

I think this re-entry thing isn't an overnight sensation. I believe it will require patience on everyone's part.

As well as a few, delicately spaced, Krispy Kream donuts.