Humility and Handcuffs

I know I said I would be a better person...but, Oh, Lord, just not yet!

As you may know, I am locked in mortal pinochle combat with my son and his girlfriend. I taught them everything they know about the game and they have proceeded to beat my ass every Wednesday night.

But last night, I discovered the secret weapon...Thank you, MySpace.com.

Foolish children! They send little love messages to each other, posted right up there on their home pages. It is a free country. I don't even need a membership to read them. And Adam did show me his homepage. Wouldn't he also know I'd bookmark it?

Last week was the big Grimsley-Page football grudge match. All week long the students prepared to devour their enemy. Every day they had to dress with a different theme. Long story short...one day Adam dressed as a Miami Vice character...To which the lovely Amanda responded "You Vice Man! You can give me a ticket any day! And if I misbehave maybe handcuffs will be involved!"

Poor, poor children. To be so young, so smart and yet, so foolish.

I have kept this knowledge close to my heart. I have not said word one about it. Until last night when I was forced, as a mother, to take action.

The contest was getting heated. Martha and I were within 70 points of beating them for the first time ever. Adam was being his cocky self, talking about how we'd always be sniffing victory but trailing behind in the dust.

What is a mother to do?

I wait until I know Amanda has to make a critical decision, a decision that might swing the match to one side or the other and then I say, "Hey Amanda, I hear you and Martha (the cop) have something in common!"

Amanda's a sweet kid. I really, really like her. In fact, I'm a little sorry she's Adam's first girlfriend and not his last because she'd be a great daughter in law, but business is business and blood is thicker than water, and Adam needed a lesson in humility.

"Something in common?" she says, still studying her cards.

"Yeah, you both like handcuffs!"

Amanda totally loses her cool, collapses into a puddle of red-faced giggles and forgets her trump card.

We won the game but more importantly, my son learned all about humility from his own mother...

Uh-huh! We won! By a landslide! We're the best! You lose!!! Uh-huh!! How's that feel, big man?!

Like I was saying...Humility is a virtue.