1/19/2007

Writing the Truth...Word by Word

I'm trying to follow Annie Lamott and "write the truth." So without pausing to censor, without stopping, let's see where it takes me...


The Truth is:

While Maggie is currently healthy, Boo-Boo Baby almost died this week. This just keeps happening and no one, not even the specialty vets, can figure out what in the world is going on.

For the past year, one by one, with the exception of Bailey Monster the Mutt, each of the schnauzers has been suddenly stricken with a gastrointestinal deal that almost kills them. They wind up in the hospital, on IVs, fighting to stay alive.

The vets swear it's not poison, but I have my doubts. It feels as if a sniper lurks somewhere in the bushes of my backyard and just when I think it's safe, he strikes. No matter how carefully we watch, patrol, feed, or hover over these guys- it strikes.

Everytime one of them pukes, I'm ready to load them in the car and rush to the vet hoping maybe we can stop the process before they're almost dead. This never works.

So each pup has a shaved, Poodle leg from IVs. The only one who looks and seems "normal" is Bailey...and if you think Maggie's psycho, Bailey's a category of crazy unto himself!

But on the positive front- Woo-dah's cancer hasn't spread anywhere in her body. She was "staged" on Tuesday and we got the good news late Wednesday. The vet, a tall, gorgeous woman with long black hair and huge eyes walked into the examining room and I thought there'd been some mistake. They'd sent a runway model in knee high boots to save little Woo's life. Add to this a thick Italian accent and you've got the picture. "Ewww," she coos, dropping to her knees and cupping Woo's chin in her elegantly manicured fingers. "'Es so cute, so sweet, theese one is!"

Woo didn't fall for it. She still trembled and looked very worried about what this one was up to.

I just thought, Damn, do some women have all the luck, or what?! Gorgeous and a brain?

Then I thought, bet managed care isn't bothering these guys! Bet they don't have to fight for reimbursement from the insurance company like we social workers do!

She spoke at great length about the need for chemo even if Woo-dah was clean. I threw in my two cents worth about the new studies on gene therapy with this cancer and we were off to the races. The woman knew her stuff. So, at least one dog is on the mend from one of her two serious illnesses!

This time, doing my homework paid off. Woo is going to be better for it. Wish that had worked for Dad.

Sometimes my heart squeezes so tightly with missing Dad that I find myself crying, even in the middle of doing something fun and totally unrelated to grieving. It's like a summer shower of grief- raining through sunshine.

5 comments:

Billy The Blogging Poet said...

Nancy,
I have an idea what it's like. That's from almost a year ago.

Teena said...

That's strange that the dogs are getting sick. Keep an eye on them, okay?

Heather said...

Hi Nancy,

I'm sorry to hear about your dogs being sick. I have a beagle and would be devastated if something like that happened to him. You hate to think that it is poison but it does sound suspicious. I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything turns out okay.

And as for the grief you are feeling and experiencing, I know you have probably heard it so many times already but..it really is normal. Sometimes we just really, really miss them. It has been over 8 years since my dad died from a heart attack and there are times when I'm just overcome with missing him so much, even now. It happens even when I'm doing something enjoyable..like watching Grey's Anatomy last week. One of the fathers of one of the characters died and all of a sudden, it all came back and I just couldn't stop crying.

Sure, I felt silly afterwards but in a way, I also felt closer to my dad then I had in a long time. Maybe those "missing him" moments are just a way of keeping him close to you.

Nancy said...

Oh, Billy! That just breaks my heart! You sweet man!

Nancy said...

Heather, you must be psychic! That right about the time I started- after Grey's Anatomy! I'm glad we shared that bittersweet moment- even if we didn't know it!