Reason # 48023 for not taking down the Christmas decorations:
I had today organized, really I did. It included taking down and putting away all the decorations, reorganizing the house, grocery shopping, taking Woo-dah (aka Lindy- the puppy who just had a tumor removed from her foot) to the vet for a new bandage and check, going to the bank AND meeting Marti back at the house by noon to REINVENT our ENTIRE lives.
Okay, so Woo-dah and I set out for the vet's, passed the bank and saw- to my chagrin as it was part of my perfectly organized, never go out of my way or retrace my steps plan- it was surrounded by cops and blue lights. It had just been robbed.
Nix the bank for the time being.
The vet was jammed up with someone's torn ACL, so Woo had to stay and I had to return to get her at 3.
Okay, cool. I'm not too off-balance. So, I drive across the street to the grocery store and WHAM! They are having triple coupon weekend. This takes a 6 item shopping list and effectively turns it into a 2 hour extravaganza of careful coupon shopping.
But still I beat Marti back to the house by five minutes and managed to reorganize two shelves of the pantry before we REORGANIZED our ENTIRE lives.
This took a little bit of time.
Somehow it was 3:05 before we ever looked up at the clock and I was late for the vet.
The vet did not go well at all. Somehow there was a glitch with the scheduling and all the patients arrived at once- including an obnoxiously hyperactive 3 year old, his 2 puppies and his biker mama.
It was SRO in the waiting room and at one point a guy comes in and drops off his baby- no lie! He just plops the carrier down in between a group of cat carriers, looks at the kitties' owner and says, "You don't mind, do you? She won't be any trouble!" And then he just leaves!
The entire waiting room went to the window to watch him. Turns out he was trying to juggle a couple of kids and dogs and the baby was just overload. He did return but the little old ladies talked about him for a long time...until someone brought in a 40 lb. cat and that distracted them onto feline obesity and a discussion of the biggest cat they had ever personally seen before this one arrived to take the crown.
I spent most of my time trying to once again figure out how to program my new cell phone and was once again unsuccessful. (Directions are for losers or cheaters.)
And then there was no putting off the inevitable. The pathology report was back and Woo-dah has cancer. The vet painted a pretty grim picture but wants to talk to an oncologist first. The rest of the afternoon was spent googling "Canine Melanoma, treatment, staging and prognosis."
The only bright spot on Woo-dah's horizon is the research and trials being done with gene therapy. Fortunately we are close to one of the research hubs- NC State...But you know, in the midst of all my researching, I couldn't help feeling a bit like I was reliving Dad's diagnosis and my initial reaction to it. I did the same thing, I researched. I pleaded and begged and fought and kicked and it didn't do one bit of good. He still died.
This is the year of creating my reality, of seeing things in a more positive light. To that end, I will not panic until I hear what the oncologist says.
I think I am on grief overload because I just feel numb. In the basement of my soul there is crying and pain and anger that yet again someone I love may be taken away but for now, it is too much and not at all immediate- so I ignore it.
There isn't time for grieving- not with doggie dinners to prepare and a boy to drive across town and a broken-hearted friend to console. There isn't time to feel sorry for myself when Woo-dah herself is dancing across the kitchen floor, daring the younger, bigger dogs to attempt to get between her and her food dish.
And there is most especially not time for taking down Christmas and sorting through bills.
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