3/19/2007

The Flea Sisters- In Tune...



I miss Darlene.

We had such a good time in D.C.

There's just something special about hangin' with your sister. Oh, sure, we're very different in lots of ways, but Darlene gets parts of me no one else understands.

We laughed, we cried. We talked about Dad and where he is or isn't. We talked about how our lives made us into such different people and some of the distorted beliefs we held onto as children.

Darlene told me she thought she wasn't creative. I said, "That's nuts! Remember when you made up Mr. Lightbulb stories to tell me every night?" I didn't think to tell her that when Dad was dying, in that last day or two, she'd been unbelievably creative...How else would we have fallen so easily into Dad's make-believe world, pretending to be parts of the sailboat for him?

She said she didn't think she was very thoughtful. "It's all about me!" she said.

"No way," I told her. "Who brought her office mate soup when she was sick? And who, just that very day, thought to buy a lunch for me when she bought her own so I wouldn't have to stop writing and go stand in line?"

Who, I thought, dropped everything to be by Dad's side? And who still made time to console her buddies through their own hard times?

She thinks I'm the brave one...but who was there, sitting with Dad, holding on to him and saying, "It's okay, Dad. We'll be fine. You can go now, honey."

If that's not frank heroism, letting go of your very best friend with such grace, even in the face of your own terror, I don't know what bravery is.

Darlene heals places in me that I don't even know ache. I hope I do some of that for her too.

We're like the two tines of a tuning fork- knock us up hard against life and we still somehow manage to resonate in perfect tune.

I do miss Darlene, I surely do...But I do the same thing with her that Dad did with us...I soak these special times up like a sponge and keep them in my heart. That way, whenever I'm lonely for her, I can bring her out and "live" my Darlene.

Selfishly, I enjoyed her morning, grumpy mania this week. I got to go home feeling better about myself.

I didn't think anyone woke up crankier than me!

We decided we really needed to continue our quest for therapeutic excellence, right back at the OMNI, same time every year...for as long as the OMNI remembers to call Darlene and say "But...we love you!"


No comments: