Happy Hour at the Eden Library...

Okay, if you'd asked me this afternoon what I was going to say in my blog tonight, I'd have told you this:

You know that song, "Venus" by Bananarama?

I thought until quite recently the words were: "Yeah, I'm your penis," not "Yeah, I'm your Venus."

And that would've been it.

But then I went to Meet the Author Night at the Eden Public Library and the Venus, Penis issue is no longer the deal it was at 4:30.

I've got a whole new crowd to tell you about- Thanks to Marti. I took her with me because in the dictionary next to the word "Extrovert" there's a picture of Marti laughing.

Anyway, almost nobody outside of the librarians and us authors came and that's probably a good thing cause we were all having much more fun than we were supposed to.

I met Dan Starrett first. He's written 3 books and is hard at work on a 4th- all about his life and ancestors. I bought the one about his Aunt Asberina, in part because I'd never heard of anyone named Asberina. "The Straw Servant- The True Story of Asberina Starrett Puffenberger," chronicles the life of his poor aunt whose mother couldn't care for her after Asberina's father died and so was forced to give her up to foster care.

Asberina was, as Dan states on the opening page, "Forced into Slave Labor; Forced into marriage at gunpoint; Forced into Endurance and Loved into Forgiveness..." Although what the poor creature would need forgiveness for is beyond me. Frankly, Dan had me at "The only reason she got married was 'cause he held a gun to her head and said if I can't have you, can't nobody have you."

That's why they call marriage an institution, isn't it?

As I talked with Dan, I couldn't help overhearing Lisa Shively at the table behind us. She writes cookbooks, has her own radio show, and lives in a haunted house. Needless to say, Lisa was selling the fool out of her books. "Gritslickers," is her latest.



Lisa's picture is found in the dictionary next to effervescent. She was like a little teapot, boiling away, whistle singing- all the while selling her cookbooks like hotcakes. I bought "Lisa Shively's Fat Little Crockin' Cookbook." I mean, after I'd heard her speak for all of about 2 sentences, I couldn't not buy it!

Lisa's a big fan of the crockpot. I overheard her telling one lady "I can stay as long as I want after church cause my lunch is all ready! I don't have to rush on past the minister so I can beat the crowd to Shoney's!"

Then she told me about the ghosts living in her turn of the century home. "I tell 'em 'The rules are I don't want to see you or hear you and you have to be nice! And if you take something and we need it back, you've got to bring it back right away!'"

She says so far "The Lady," the main ghost, faithfully abides by the rules...except when it comes to Lisa's husband. "I know he sees her. He doesn't mind that stuff like I do. You know how I know?" she says leaning in toward me and Marti. "He'll be in the shower and I'll hear him just talkin' away. Then he'll come out and say "Lisa, I said I was in the shower. Why'd you keep calling me?"

Marti cackles. "Well, I think the Lady's lusting after that husband of yours. Maybe they've got something going on!"

Lisa all but puts her hands up over her ears. "Like I said, as long as I don't see you or hear you, I don't care what you do!"

Then she tells us about her buddy, Ruby Ann Boxcar- of The Down Home Trailer Park Cookbook fame. Apparently she really is the woman on the cover of her book and Ruby's a big fan and supporter of Lisa.



Just as we're getting ready to call it a night, we meet Reid Baer, the poet.

He reads his poetry and commentary on You Tube and is quite popular...




He's also an editor and contributor to a couple of e-zines, one of which is the magazine for the Mankind Project.

Reid stops and introduces himself. He says his poems are mythopoetic. Then he tells us about the Mankind Project and while I'm all into the Robert Bly connection to his work and as my mental Rolodex of images and facts about the Men's Movement is jumping into my consciousness, Marti hears one thing out of Reid's mouth and is on him like the proverbial fly on stink. The Mankind Project, Reid tells us, is about getting men in touch with their feelings, making them accountable and establishing integrity within their relationships. But Marti hears the part about getting them in touch with their feelings so they can better understand women what women want.

"Yeah, but do they listen?" she asks.

Oh, shit, I mutter to myself. "It's on now!" I slink down a little lower in my chair and think the Men's Movement is about to meet the Immovable Force that is Marti.

I hold my breath through the initial dog-sniffing and am totally surprised when the two of them hit it off like old pals.

Meanwhile, Lisa's eyes widen and to my total surprise I see her nodding her understanding and agreement with Marti and Reid's conversation. The four of us are having a big time when we realize the event has ended and we are still there...bonding.

Marti left with everybody's card, phone number and multiple promises to be in touch or call or in other ways continue her new friendships. We get in the car and I just look at her for a long moment. "Marti, next thing I know there's gonna be a reunion party for the Eden Library Author's Night gathering!"

She giggles. "Yeah, if I'd just had a case of your books, I'd have sold every single one of them!"

This is when I hear my Sister Flea's voice in my ear. "I'm tellin' you, honey, that Marti could sell ice cubes to Eskimos!"

Now, I'm gonna go check out Lisa's website and then Google Ruby Ann Boxcar. Lisa says she's got the cutey-wootiest trailer park site and I do so love a good trailer park. Hey...Maybe Ruth Ann'd like to read my Strip series- my heroine, Sierra Lavotini, amateur sleuth and exotic dancer lives in a trailer park...